Should I See My Ex-Boyfriend? – Long?

Question by Michael: Should I See My Ex-Boyfriend? – Long?
9 years ago, my then boyfriend and I ended our relationship. We were together fro 12 years but, towards the end I was suspecting that he wanted to “explore his options.” Also, I was offered a job in London and, he didn’t wish to move abroad. He also began a descent into drugs. He smoked weed more often than usual (I myself took a drag once in a while but, not often). I pleaded with him to slow down, to no avail.

Following our break up, I haven’t spoken to him or heard anything from him. I’ve had relationships since we parted way, none have worked out. I received a visit from his mother a week ago. She traveled all the way to London to inform me that her son has a serious drug addiction now and, she nor any other family member or friend can get through to him. She pleaded with me to return to the states and, confront him, I refused.

At the time, I instantly thought about all the pain he put me through towards the end. Now, though I think I may have come across as heartless, I don;t want his addiction to consume and kill him but, isn’t your ex, an ex for a reason? I’m worried about how we’ll react after not having seen or spoken to one another for 9 years. What if old feelings return, what if he still refuses treatment? What if wants treatment but, me there as well (not to sound full of myself)?

Should I return in attempt to help my ex-boyfriend? Things are also difficult because I have a 7 year old son (adopted). How can I explain the situation to him… I’m so confused!!

Best answer:

Answer by Kevin
In my opinion, you should definitely return to him. It’s clear that he is addicted to drugs because he feels like he lost you. It sounds to me that since you planned to leave him to move to London, he kind of became depressed, found drugs and have been using them as a safety net for 9 years.

Trust me, go see him. Try to save his life, and who knows, maybe he still has feelings for you, and maybe you’ll have feelings for him. If you don’t help him, all hope may be lost and you’ll see your once loved partner, pass away from something that was preventable.

Answer by Soul
I think you should try to talk to him on webcam first and see if he will even listen to your reasoning. If he seems to be listening I would go back to the states and help him out more. If the old feelings return it could be a bitter-sweet thing, but just try to control those feelings if they were to come up. The 7 year old could go with you, unless you have family in England and he could live with them for the time your in the states…I personally don’t think you should expose him to drugs at a younger age so it’d be best if he was elsewhere when you saw your ex.

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