What Do You Think About SAA?
Question by wonderboy: What do you think about SAA?
I have been going to SAA for about 7 months now, and have been working the steps, have a sponsor, and have about 12 weeks of sobriety. My addiction is pornography and compulsive masturbation. All of these things are great, and I feel grateful, and yet I feel that the program doesn’t quite suit me. I have a hard time because I go to a bunch of meetings, and I don’t really tell to many people about it, because of the stigma associated with sex addiction. So, I feel disconnected from the rest of the “real world.” I feel depressed and hopeless, because I feel lonely and I don’t think the program is helping all that much other than stay sober, but my social life is on the fritz cause all I do is go to these meetings. My sponsor wants me to keep going every day, but it’s getting to me, and I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere at all. I need a church, a sangha, but going to SAA like this is making me feel really cut off from the rest of the world. Any suggestions?
Best answer:
Answer by Tessa H
First of all, congratulations on your sobriety! That is quite the accomplishment no matter what addiction one is facing.
If the SAA meetings are keeping you sober, then the program is definitely helping you and you should keep going to them.
However, it’s probably harder to stay sober if you don’t have anything else in your life besides the meetings. If you literally don’t have any time for anything else except these meetings, then you should scale down the amount of time you spend at them. Otherwise, there are plenty of things you can do to make you feel more connected to the world.
I get the impression that maybe you have defined yourself by your addiction in the past and are having a hard time conquering that definition of yourself. Perhaps you don’t think you are worthy of forming connections with other people because of this.
First, I would consider seeing a counselor. Depending on where you live, you should be able to find an affordable one or one that works on a sliding scale based on your income. And actually, seeing someone who specializes in addiction might allow you to go to your meetings less frequently. But primarily I think seeing a counselor will help our build your self-esteem and develop a sense of self and self-worth outside of your addiction.
Second, there are lots of options as far as connecting with other people goes. Like you said, you can find a church to attend regularly. There are also all the typical things that are suggested for meeting people like taking classes, joining a club, joining a gym, depending on your interests. You could also try to develop friendships with your co-workers.
The key is to not feel so fenced in by your addiction. Don’t feel like you have to talk about it to everyone you meet. It’s something you’re dealing with privately and you are under no obligation to disclose that with people you don’t completely trust. Just develop your interests outside the program and that will give you plenty of stuff to talk about with other people so you don’t have to feel so isolated.
Good luck!
Answer by raysny
AA only has a 5% success rate for alcohol, what it was created for, why would a modified 12steps works better for anything else?
The 12step treatment method is nothing more than faith healing, if that’s what you’re looking for, I’d suggest a real church.
One of the problems that many people in 12step groups cite is cognitive dissonance:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
Something isn’t quite right, but you can’t quite get it. Check out that article.
“Choke” by Chuck Palahniuk has a humorous look at SAA:
http://www.amazon.com/Choke-Chuck-Palahniuk/dp/0385720920
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